Grief has a way of circling back: on birthdays, death anniversaries, holidays, even in the middle of a random Tuesday when a song comes on in a rideshare. If a significant date is approaching (or sneaks up on you), here are gentle practices to help you move through the day.
Release the “shoulds”
There isn’t a right way to grieve. If you feel everything at once—or nothing at all—that’s still grief doing its work. You don’t have to predict how the day will feel or justify what you need. Let the experience unfold without judging yourself.
Ride the wave
Picture yourself on a raft in rough water: your job is simply to hold on until the swell passes. Name what’s happening (“this is grief”), breathe in fours (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4), drink water, and set small anchors through the day: a walk, a shower, a text to a friend. Waves peak and soften.
Mark it with a small ritual
Symbols help our bodies catch up to our hearts. Ritual doesn’t need to be elaborate to be powerful: consistency is what makes it sacred. Choose something simple and meaningful:
- Write a letter to your person.
- Cook their favorite recipe or play “their” song.
- Bring flowers, light a candle, or frame a photo.
- Create an ofrenda or memory corner at home.
- Make a donation or volunteer in their honor.
Lean on spirit (in the way that fits you)
Prayer, meditation, a quiet sit in nature, a page of poetry—anything that connects you to something larger. Ask for a dream, reread a passage that comforts you, or step outside to feel your feet on the earth. If formal spirituality isn’t your thing, let beauty be your practice.
Be with people
Grief is heavy; community helps carry it. That might look like a support group, a service, a fundraiser, or simply inviting a friend to sit with you (no fixes required). Tell people what you need: “Keep me company,” “Share a story about her,” or “Can we be quiet together?”
Build your comfort list (save this)
Keep a running note for the days you can’t think straight:
- Sleep early; hydrate; eat something warm and nourishing.
- Go easy on alcohol; it can amplify the lows.
- Move your body: walk, stretch, yoga, dance in your living room.
- Long shower or bath; fresh sheets.
- Journal for ten minutes; text your therapist if you have one.
- Snuggle your pet; rewatch a cozy show; step into sunlight.
- Phone a friend who lets you be messy and fully you.
Let love and loss coexist
Grief evolves, and so do we. It clarifies what matters and reshapes how we move through the world. The tenderness you feel is evidence of love that still exists. Hold yourself gently; let the day be what it is. Allowing your grief is a way of honoring your love.
If today is one of those days, I’m sending you steadiness. If you have a ritual or practice that helps, share it in the comments: your idea might be exactly what someone else needs.
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